


I'm Still Looking Up

by Sharmain



Category: Glee
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 11:03:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/686219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharmain/pseuds/Sharmain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Jason Mraz's "I Won't Give Up" and last night's Glee episode, "I Do".</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Still Looking Up

**Author's Note:**

> This spawned from listening to "I Won't Give Up", specifically Peter Hollens' cover, on repeat and yesterday's episode of Glee. I'm just having Klaine feels, apparently. This is just a little ficlet inspired by these two things.

  
_'Cause even the stars they burn_   
_Some even fall to the earth_   
_We've got a lot to learn_   
_God knows we're worth it_   


It was like a bloom, a feeling of warmth and red and love spreading through his chest, vines winding under his ribcage, heat racing through his blood. It was hope and fear and adoration and apprehension all at once, but it was amazing and wonderful even in its weaker aspects, because this was the happiest Blaine had been in a long time.

Even if it didn’t mean the same thing it did before, even if meant something completely new, the feeling of having the other half of his soul by his side, against him, around him, took precedent over everything else, because his world wasn’t over. It didn’t crumble, it didn’t explode, it didn’t fall or shatter or stop turning.

Just to have those beautiful eyes look at him and hear that laugh that he never thought he could induce ever again was a breath of life. Hope was an understatement of the feeling that sat, deeply rooted, in Blaine’s chest. There was possibility to love again, to connect again, even if for now there was hurt and disconnect and lust.

Blaine was just glad he wasn’t shut out, banished from the Garden of Eden, the most beautiful and amazing thing he’d ever experienced in his life. There was still a chance to enter again, redemption to be had, even if thorns constantly dug into his sides.

It was predestined. If there was anything, any kind of destiny in this world, it was that he and Kurt would be together again.

Blaine looked up at the sky as he sat outside, leaning against the back of his car. It was dark, almost midnight, but Blaine was far from sleep. Sleep was for those whose lives weren’t on the verge of changing. The chill of February was making itself known, frosting the damp grass of the front lawn and worming its way up the sleeves of Blaine’s coat and under his scarf. It bit at his nose and turned his breath into puffs of smoke.

His mind was whirling, flying. Nerves were set alight and muscles begged to be set in motion, begging to turn potential energy into kinetic. Blaine knew exactly where he wanted to be right then, but he knew he couldn’t be. His body begged to be free, to spring into action, brain screaming to resolve its restless thinking.

Finally, his hand slipped into his pocket, pulling out his phone. He dialed a number he knew by heart and put the phone to his ear. He listened to the phone ring, anticipation rising in his chest. The phone kept ringing, no one coming to answer it. Blaine bit his lip, getting ready to hang up.

“Hello?”

“Kurt,” Blaine breathed, a smile gracing his face.

“Blaine? It’s like, twelve fifteen. At night”

“I know,” Blaine said, “But I need to talk to you, in person.”

“Blaine, can’t this wait until morning-“

“No, “ Blaine said, cutting Kurt off. “No, I need to talk to you now, before my brain explodes.”

There was nothing on the other line for a few beats, and Blaine feared that maybe Kurt had hung up.

“So, are you going to come over?” Kurt asked, finally. Blaine immediately shoved his hand into his pocket for his keys.

“Yeah, give a few minutes,” he said, already climbing into his car.

“Okay,” Kurt said, resigned. There was a pause before he added, “Be safe.”

“I will,” Blaine said, turning the key into the ignition.

 

Kurt was waiting for Blaine when he pulled up, bundled up in a pea coat and a thick scarf. His arms were tucked close to his chest, hands under his armpits.

“What’s so important that it can’t wait until an hour that’s more forgiving to my skin?” Kurt said, face flushed and nose red. Blaine looked at Kurt, taking in the sight of him, pale skin standing out in the darkness, eyes piercing as they looked at Blaine expectantly.

“I just,” he said, stopping. He swallowed, eyebrows knitting together. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m not going to give up on this, on us.”

Kurt stared at him, brow furrowed.

“Blaine, at the wedding, we were just-“

“Call it whatever you want,” Blaine said, eyes almost pleading. He took a step closer to the shivering male in front of him. “A fling, a cliché wedding hook-up, I don’t care, but please don’t tell me it didn’t mean anything to you. Please don’t try and make yourself think I don’t mean anything to you, because once upon a time we meant everything.”

He felt his heart constrict, hope and doubt battling deep behind his ribs, blooms versus thorns.

“But I screwed that up,” Blaine continued, voice breaking. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fix that, but I love you, and I’ll always be there for you, waiting for you to find what you have to find.”

“What am I supposed to find?” Kurt asked, eyes glistening, voice hard. “What do you want from me, Blaine, to pretend like what you did never happened, to forget the feeling in my chest when you told me? What am I supposed to do?” Kurt clenched his fists at his sides, visibly shaking. Blaine looked down, unable to handle Kurt when he looked at him so accusingly.

“I can’t forgive myself for what I did,” he said quietly, “Why should I expect you to? I’m not trying to erase scars. I just want to know if I still mean _anything_ to you.” Hazel eyes looked back up to light blue ones, a flurry of emotions flying across Blaine’s face. And equal amount flickered across Kurt’s features.

“Of course you mean something to me,” Kurt whispered. Blaine walked up to him, placing his hands on Kurt’s arms.

“I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I’m here for you, for whatever reason you need me for. I just don’t want to be cast out of your life, Kurt, or just be a tool or a ‘fling’. The things that happen between us mean something, even now. Even though we’re not together, we still have meaning, and no matter what, I’m always on your side.”

Kurt shook his head, pressing his lips together. He moved his hands out from under his arms, winding them around Blaine’s waist, pulling him close. Blaine let out a low breath and wrapped his arms around Kurt’s neck, pressing his nose close to Kurt’s ear.

“I love you, Kurt,” he whispered, voice choked.

“I love you, too,” Kurt said, smiling sadly. A tear trailed down his pale cheek. He held Blaine tighter against him.

Blaine closed his eyes, reveling in the moment, heart thundering in his chest. He felt it swell and bloom in his chest. He wondered if Kurt could feel it too, the warmth and the bursting and the energy that swirled inside himself, begging to be released.

With a sharp inhale, Kurt pulled away. His hands remained resting on Blaine’s waist as he gazed into Blaine’s eyes.

“I don’t want you to give up,” Kurt said, voice soft. “I never want you to give up.” Blaine smiled, a sort of relief washing over his face.

“Then I never will,” he said, leaning in, just a little, just enough for breaths to mix and senses to flare. Kurt hesitated, just for a moment, back rigid and lips tight, but then something in him broke, and their lips came together, sharing a kiss that was completely different from what had transpired on Valentine’s Day. That was kisses of lust and pent up frustration and a need to be close. This was a kiss of two souls, lost and wandering and longing to be one, if only the barrier between them would break away.

But even then, they would not give up.


End file.
